Tag Archives: flat tyre

the sign man and Amy Winey

it occurred to me today as i drove past that the man who holds the Burger King sign on the princes highway at sydenham is actually the grim reaper. HAPPY HOUR. BUY ONE BURGER GET ONE FREE. That’s what his sign says. Each afternoon he is there, holding his sign and waving to passers-by. His bike is always discarded on the footpath. I have noted with interest that he has fashioned a rope pulley with which to wobble his sign one-handed (thus leaving the other hand free to wave to the cars as they pass.) He wears an orange safety vest and has his moustache neatly combed.

Usually I drive past the sign man, biting my lip and switching between CDs, iPhone or radio stations. But I have noticed one thing: on the few occasions when i have lifted a few fingers from the steering wheel in vague acknowledgement, the sign man has not waved back but rather has turned his hand to the ground and motioned up and down. it at first looked to me like he was saying “slow down” but i am never speeding when i pass the sign man–god forbid the traffic would never allow it.

this year i will be 27 (ohmygodsofuckingoldright?) so it makes sense that i will join Kurt and Jim and Amy and Janis and Brian and Jimi in the 27 club. The year has not been kind to me so far (loss of 2 days per week of employment, 1 x car crash, 1 x flat tyre, financial dispair x infinity, poor decisions x 5ish, a couple of bad hangovers, 1 x spilled coffee, 1 x stained skirt and 1 x spilled salad). Though admittedly when i raised this point to my co-workers over burrito salad, they denied my level of genius places me in the same league as any of these musicians. They also, quite rudely, labelled me Amy Winey. Who are they to say that it is me, not Lena, who is the voice of this generation? or something.

point of the story: the sign man is only warning me of what i already know. i doubt i shall survive the year.

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